One Decade with Jared

This month marks ten years from the time that Jared and I started dating 'til now.  Because we dated for three and a half years before getting married, I find it fun to still mark our "dating" anniversary too. So July 2013 marks 10 years since dating and this November 2013 will mark 7 years of marriage.

It does not seem like it has been 10 years since Jared and I started dating. I find that the older I get, the less I realize how much time has actually passed.  I tend to just think everything happened five years ago. It's not until I actually do the math that I realize just how much time has passed. For example, I still feel like high school was just a "few" years ago, yet in reality it has been 16 years since my freshman year of high school. That absolutely blows my mind.

The LORD has taught us a lot over these 10 years. One thing that I have learned and am still learning is how the LORD is sovereign in all things. So instead of looking back over these 10 years and praising the work of our own hands or celebrating "our" accomplishments, I look back instead, to see what the LORD has done and what HE has accomplished, for it is truly HIS work.

I love the path that the LORD has brought me and Jared down, even though it has not been easy. I love that we knew each other as acquaintances in high school, that we hung out as friends before dating in college, that my parents made us wait to get married until both of us had completed our BA degrees. That was probably one of the biggest gifts my parents could have given us, and I am definitely going to attempt to uphold that mandate with Jack....wait to get married until you have your schooling completed!! My parents kept telling me, "Trust us. It will be so much easier to complete your degree if you do it before you get married."  I am so thankful that we listened to their advice. It was really hard to wait on marrying Jared just to finish our schooling, but totally worth it.

Over these 10 years, the LORD has given us more than we could have ever asked or imagined, and yet at the same time He has not withheld roadblocks, hardships, trials, and struggles from us either. Thankfully, those hardships have so far been external to our relationship - I say "thankfully" because I know we are not immune to internal, relational problems, and so we pray regularly for the LORD to strengthen our marriage and keep us faithful to Him and to each other.  But for whatever reason, Jared and I have always gotten along really well and gel in how we think and act - I think that is another positive thing about dating for several years before getting married, we got to know each other really well over a long period of time so that by the time we are married and living together we were genuinely best friends. It has helped to make our marriage really easy in some aspects - we've never had any relational problems between the two of us. The fact that Jared is seriously the most chill person I know and he is super easy to live with and be around doesn't hurt.  I am definitely the one who is harder to live with because I am very opinionated, passionate, and easily irritated. The LORD has so much work to do in me....I'm very thankful that He will not give up on me (Phil 1:6).

Anyways, the external hardships that we have faced have been really really really difficult and at times horribly painful to walk through. Some challenges were/are hard, like losing jobs, moving away from family, living in a city I basically hate. And others have been incredibly painful like walking through the divorce of Jared's parents, the separation and reconciliation of my parents, losing a child, having a sibling walk away from the LORD, living far from family for a much longer stint of time that I ever thought, etc.

I am thankful that the LORD held us and brought us through those trials, because in and of myself I am much too weak to have walked through the hard times and not completely crumble. Those trials have made us stronger individually and as marriage partners.  At times I wonder if our lives were easier if we would be weaker or have a weaker faith....Kind of like if you don't use your muscles they will atrophy.... so if we didn't have those hard times would our faith have atrophied?  Sometimes I wish that our life was super easy or that we could just do things we want to do whenever we want to, but I know that the challenges we face build character and perseverance, and most importantly, the hard times draw us much closer to the LORD...closer to His embrace, and they force us to rely on Him and see Him work in ways that we would not have if those challenges had never come our way. I suppose in that light it is possible to see those difficult times as hard eucharisteo (1000 Gifts, Ann Voskamp).

It's also interesting to have walked through hard times that we could not simply "quit" or change course, and I am learning to see how the LORD can move if we don't bail on hard or difficult times. It's amazing to see what the LORD can do if we don't quit. For example, I really hate Houston. If it was up to me we would have left a long time ago. Yet, as we pray for God's direction over our life we both feel like He still wants us to be here. So we stay.  Don't get me wrong, if the LORD gave us the word to move I would be so happy, but I am learning to surrender every day. So I do see purpose in staying, and I see obedience to God in staying. We have been here for 6 years now and I have seen so many good things come from staying in a city that I hate so much.  We have met some amazing people and made some awesome friends, got plugged in to a great church, we have seen the LORD work in some crazy ways, and it has forced us to rely on Him in ways that I may not have if we had just moved to a city we liked better.  It's helped me to learn that comfort should not be what I seek, and comfort is not always a sign of God's blessing or direction. I am pretty sure Paul (and many of those following the LORD in the Bible and in current times) was not comfortable when he was thrown in prison over and over, but He was doing the work of God and that work took him to some pretty uncomfortable places. That is what the LORD is teaching me here. Seek His will, not comfort...and certainly not my own will.

All that to say, these 10 years have been amazing, difficult, joy-filled, hard, exciting, challenging, and the best 10 years of my life.  I am learning how much we need God all day, every day. I am so thankful to the LORD for bringing me and Jared together and for keeping us together.  I love Jared beyond words. He is my sweet, sweet husband, my best friend, and my joy. He pushes me, encourages me, supports me, empathizes with me, confirms me, challenges me, is kind and tender to me, is crazy and fun and exciting with me, and he loves me with a love that I simply do not understand. I see myself as a very unloveable person, yet Jared, the man who knows all the good and all the bad of me, through the grace of God, still finds it in his heart to love me and cherish me. I am forever grateful for this precious man. And I thank God for every minute He allows us to spend together. I pray that Jared feels just as loved and cherished by me too.

And just for fun, a walk down memory lane...10 years with my love...

We started dating shortly after this pic above...

I look at us and think, "We are babies! And we have no idea the journey before us."

Jack!! Our sweet, sweet gift from above. Oh how I love him so!!

"Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain."  -- Psalm 127:1