7 Months!!

**Disclaimer: Super long post about Jack, along with my thoughts on parenting at this point. If you want, you can just skip to the pictures at the bottom of this post**

Wow, I so do not have any time for blogging anymore. As I type this, I am sitting here thinking I should probably be creating the 9 chapter quizzes I still need to post, cleaning the house, working on my assignment for my online instructional design course, or heck even be sleeping!  But I figured, if I don't just sit down and crank out this 7 month post now then I am not sure when it will happen. So here it goes!

On Saturday, February 2, Jack turned 7 months old!! I was actually throwing a baby shower for my friend Chelsea that day, so I didn't really get to spend too much time with him. We had to take his 7 month pics the next day. But Jared and Jack were able to spend lots of daddy/son bonding time that day, so it wasn't too bad. :)

Oh my goodness, Jack has been a busy little boy since he turned 6 months old. This past month I feel like he has been looking more like a little kid instead of a baby. He is way more interactive with us, and I love it. For example, when he is playing with a toy, he will look at it and then look at me and then back at the toy and then offer me the toy, and stuff like that.  It's as if he is looking for my reaction too now.

He also likes to mimic our faces. Lately, his new thing is to make the "I'm so shocked face" with his mouth wide open. It cracks me up! He will look at something and then make the shocked face, and then look at me, and then back at the object, all the while making the shocked face. So naturally, I then make the shocked face too, and we just look at each other with shocked faces. Ha!

Jack is also very mobile. He mastered the army crawl a month ago, and man oh man, this kid can jam. He is fast!  He is not crawling on his knees and hands yet, but he is a pro at the army crawl. He is crawling all over our house now. If I leave his play area in the living room to go into the kitchen he will listen for my voice and then follow me into the kitchen. He does this in any room now. Whenever I leave a room there is a little baby Jack following me down the hall. It's so cute!

A couple weeks or so ago, Jack started pulling up on things too. He can pull himself up on almost anything in our home now. It may take him a few tries, but he usually gets it. Granted his balance still needs some work - he tips over super easy. So as long as he doesn't lose his balance, he will pull himself up to a standing position and just play like that. Then he will walk alongside the object. He holds onto the couch or coffee table and walks while holding on to it for balance. He loooooves to stand and walk. It's all he really wants to do now. He likes it when I hold his hands and walk with him all over our house and outside. He just giggles and giggles while we do that.

As for food, he is still nursing several times a day, depending on how things go. Then about an hour after nursing we do his solid food feeding, which is just organic baby food jars from Kroger because I have NO time whatsoever to be making baby food. He eats everything we give him. I started the correct way, where you do one food for three days, and then a new food for three days and so on. About a couple weeks into that, I just got tired of it and started giving him anything baby food related. He's done great with everything so far.  

Dude, he eats sooo much! I give him way more than the amount recommend for babies his age. He just eats and eats and eats. But he will totally fuss during the whole feeding. It throws me off because I will think he is done, but then he will keep opening his mouth and eat the food. Maybe I'm just not going fast enough? Who knows. I think Jack's default emotion is to fuss. He does it all the time. Anyways, with as much food as he eats, the funny thing is he is still super skinny. I think he only weighed 16 pounds about a a week before he turned 7 months. It's like all his eating goes to stretching him length wise instead of width wise. He's gonna be tall and skinny like his dad.

Then for snacks he will eat the organic Baby Puffs, the organic Baby Mum Mum's rice wafers, or pieces of fruit.  These snacks are great because they help with his sore teething gums, and they help with hand-eye coordination. He loves the autonomy of the puffs and wafers. He's great at picking up the individual puffs and putting them directly into his mouth too. He really likes frozen watermelon too.

We started him on sippy cups too, a few weeks ago. He's not too great with them, but Jared can get him to drink some water here and there.  Jack has never liked bottles, and every bottle feeding has been a major challenge, so we just stopped using them and are trying to get him used to sippy cups. We'll see if it works.

Ahhh...what else, what else...Jack still loves being outside. I could probably stay outside with him all day and would love it. He loves swinging at the park and going down the slide at the park. He prefers to go down the slide by himself too. He laughs harder when he goes alone. Honestly, he is such an adrenaline junkie. He laughs and giggles so much when Jared gets crazy with him. Jared will throw him high in the air, flip him upside down, roll around with him, etc, and Jack loves it all. He just giggles and giggles. He's such a boy!

Jack is still very very very active and very very very smart. He goes non-stop, but does not enjoy playing alone, so that means we go non-stop with him. He loves playing when we are right by his side or playing with him. He absolutely soaks up new places and things. He LOVES to explore, and I love watching his eyes light up as he discovers new things.

He also has MAJOR separation anxiety right now. It's to the point where if I get up to walk to another room he will cry and cry and cry. That's the reason why I have a little Jack crawling down the hall after me whenever I leave a room. Even if I talk to him while I am in the other room it won't help. Even if I have his Baby Babble video on it will not help. Even if I have him totally engaged in a toy or his activity center it will not help. He just cries and cries until I come back and pick him up or sit next to him. So pretty much all of his active time involves me sitting right next to him while he plays, or me holding him, or me pushing him the stroller.

To be honest, 99% of the time it doesn't bother me at all. If Jack didn't have this separation anxiety, we would not spend soooo much time together playing. I'm soaking in this time that we have together. In fact, I kind of like it because he actually wants to be with me, and I know some day he won't want to anymore. Plus, everyone eventually gets over separation anxiety, so I'm not worried about breaking him of it for now.

Besides, I love holding him. And when it starts to get tiring, I take the advice of Ann Voskamp and give thanks to Jesus for Jack. If or when his temperament starts to wear on me or I find my energy lacking, I thank Jesus for him audibly. I tell Jack every single day that he is a precious, precious gift from Jesus. I tell him that he is cherished and wanted and that I love him so so so much. That little boy just melts my heart.

I love that I am in a position where I can be home all day and actually spend so much time with him. Hands down it is the hardest, most exhausting job I have ever had, but it is such a HUGE blessing, and I absolutely cherish this time with him.  I don't know how life will play out, or if I will always have this option to stay home with Jack, so I want to take advantage of it now while I can. Jobs, careers, fancy cars and homes will always be accessible options in life, but this time alone with Jack, watching and guiding him, will not. Right now, I have this amazing chance and gift to forgo the material things and embrace the priceless intangibles. Best decision ever!!!

Don't get me wrong, parenting full time, while working out of the home and in the home part time is hands down the HARDEST thing I have ever done in my entire life. It makes writing my 100 page thesis for my master's degree feel like a freaking cake walk. I literally start every single day with devotions and beg God for the strength to get through the day....for His grace. He helps me so much. I feel it.

Seriously, though, I don't feel like any of this comes naturally to me at all. It's a thousand times harder than I ever imagined it would be. I don't know how people ever have more than 1 kid. And I'm not even taking into account my extreme fear of having another miscarriage or losing another baby (pregnancy will never ever be a joyful easy choice for us: if we choose to try to have another child we have to be prepared to possibly lose another child, and then if the LORD allows us to get pregnant again, I walk through those 9 months holding my breath, praying to God that everything will be fine, thanking Him for every single minute that goes well and the baby is still alive....yeah, not joyful or easy. Those of you who have only had joyful blissful experiences with pregnancy and birth, get down on your knees and thank the LORD in heaven for that gift that HE has given you. Because the alternative freaking sucks.) -- I'm talking just straight exhaustion from raising one child. This is not easy, I'm tired all the time, I cry a lot, I feel very alone out here in Texas and long to have my mom and sister nearby so badly, I can never accomplish all of the things on my to-do list, I don't feel like I know what I am doing, I constantly worry that I am going to ruin Jack somehow because I suck at parenting, Jack is extremely exhausting to care for and doesn't sleep well through the night, etc., etc., etc.

BUT... staying home with him is the only thing I want to do. For me, there are days where I think it would be SOO much easier to work full time. I know that working full time as a parent would be a ton of work too, and my heart goes out to the women/men who have no choice but to work full time. But, gosh, there is an element of it that would feel like such an escape to me. To actually get work done without a baby crying every 5 minutes, and to let someone else do all this exhausting stuff all day, I can't even imagine what that would be like. When I am teaching during the week, it is so nice to get out and be with adults and feel clean and productive. Yet, I just can't do it. The thought of leaving Jack all day with someone else, is like a knife being pushed through my heart. I can't do it. The emotional toll would be too much.  I want to be the one who is with Jack all day....guiding him and teaching him and demonstrating life to him.  I want it to be me....not someone else. I can't shake that feeling.

Right now I am only working a couple days a week for just 3 hours at a time, and then working from home several hours a day, but I am feeling stretched in so many directions with never enough time to attend to everything on my plate. I am hoping to either quit at the end of the semester altogether OR try to pick up an online class to facilitate. Either way, Lord willing, my hope is that come May, I will be able to be home with Jack all the time. On the one hand it absolutely terrifies me, and on the other hand I can't wait. So we'll see what happens.

Ok, that was a longer tangent than I intended. Anyways, back on track -- Jack is 7 months and 13 days old now. He is so cute, super active, a lot of work, and I love him with a love so strong that I lack the words to adequately describe it. He truly is a precious gift from Jesus.

Here are some pics of Jack from the last month.... Enjoy!