Quote

.
"Don't assume your godliness because you sympathize with a friend in distress. Even the Gentiles do that. Try rejoicing in his success."   —Douglas Wilson


I like this quote because it is a reminder that not only should we be comforting people who are grieving, but we should also be celebrating with friends in successful, happy times.  Oddly enough, we had more people send us comments and emails when we lost our little baby than when we announced we were pregnant.

Maybe they felt we needed more comments, prayers, support since we lost our baby than when we were celebrating the life of our baby, and maybe they were right.  But, I did notice and I thought it was kinda weird that some people chose not send a celebration comment, but they did send a sympathy comment.... and at times it just felt like salt in a wound.

For me, the worst kind of sympathy came from people whom I felt were typically rude to me or never spoke to me or for all intents and purposes, I just felt like they didn't really like me as a person, and yet they would send a comment telling me how sorry they were for my loss. I just thought, "you don't even act like you even like me, so get out of here with your meaningless note of sympathy."  That's one of the reasons why I was so mortified to have a public miscarriage; people whom I never would have shared this with now know and it's very irritating. I would have only shared this with my closest family and friends, but instead many many more people know and it's unsettling.

I have been told this is better because it means more people are praying for us, but people who say this to me don't understand me, nor do they understand that when I am grieving I am not in a logical frame of mind, nor do I want to rationalize any of this.  So no, regardless of the amount of prayer we may or may not be receiving, if I had a choice, I would have chosen to have a more private miscarriage where I could be more selective about who we shared this with.

Anyways, this quote resonated with me when I read it a few weeks ago, and I wanted to write my thoughts about it.