Fathers & Daughters

I came across this website Life to Her Years through a post on In This Wonderful Life and I thought it was so cute! It was created by a dad of a daughter who posts things that he wants to do / should do as a dad for his little girl and it is directed to all dads.

This blog made me smile and think of my dad because he was a phenomenal dad to his three girls, and I know Jared would have been such a sweet and loving dad to Aliyah had she lived because he is definitely that to Jack now. :)

So here is just one post from the Life to Her Years blog (my commentary is in blue next to each rule - if you click on the 50 Rules title below it will take you to the actual post). 

I seriously think my dad did all 50 of these things for his girls. Thank you Dad!! I love you!! :)

50 RULES FOR DADS OF DAUGHTERS

1. Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good she’ll fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, that’s just the way it is. I’d prefer good. Check! This past year has been the best!! And he taught/showed us the importance of apologies in relationships too.

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2. Always be there. Quality time doesn’t happen without quantity time. Hang out together for no other reason than just to be in each other’s presence. Be genuinely interested in the things that interest her. She needs her dad to be involved in her life at every stage. Don’t just sit idly by while she adds years to her life… add life to her years. Check! I get random, "just wanted to tell you how much I love you, how proud I am of you, and how beautiful you are" phone calls from my dad on a regular basis...love them!! :)

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3. Save the day. She’ll grow up looking for a hero. It might as well be you. She’ll need you to come through for her over and over again throughout her life. Rise to the occasion. Red cape and blue tights optional. Totally! I know that no matter what I can count on my dad for any help I need! And growing up I knew that he would protect me from all things bad.

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4. Savor every moment you have together. Today she’s crawling around the house in diapers, tomorrow you’re handing her the keys to the car, and before you know it, you’re walking her down the aisle. Some day soon, hanging out with her old man won’t be the bees knees anymore. Life happens pretty fast. You better cherish it while you can. Check! And hangin' out with my "old man" is still the "bees knees." :)

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5. Pray for her. Regularly. Passionately. Continually. Double Check!

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6. Buy her a glove and teach her to throw a baseball. Make her proud to throw like a girl… a girl with a wicked slider. Check!!! My dad didn't teach us how to throw like a girl though - he taught us how to throw like a boy.  He would take us in the backyard or to the park and teach us how to throw curve balls, hit fastballs, and run football patterns. Many Saturdays were spent in his HS gym playing basketball and volleyball. I LOVE that he did that with us!! It is so much a part of my identity and pride that he did that with us!! :)

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7. She will fight with her mother. Choose sides wisely. Ha! I think I can put a check here :)

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8. Go ahead. Buy her those pearls. Check! My purity ring was a beautiful pearl ring

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9. Of course you look silly playing peek-a-boo. You should play anyway. Check!!

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10. Enjoy the wonder of bath time. Check? I would have been too little to remember that one...Mom would have to verify :)

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11. There will come a day when she asks for a puppy. Don’t over think it. At least one time in her life, just say, “Yes.” Check!! He let us get lots of puppies!! My dad is such a softy when it comes to animals! :)

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12. It’s never too early to start teaching her about money. She will still probably suck you dry as a teenager… and on her wedding day. Check!

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13. Make pancakes in the shape of her age for breakfast on her birthday. In a pinch, donuts with pink sprinkles and a candle will suffice. Check, sort of. I like what my dad established as our birthday tradition better. He would take the birthday girl out alone to a special breakfast with just him and her. I loved that! He did that every year until I moved to Houston. And if I ever get to move back to CA then I know it will start right back up again. :)

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14. Buy her a pair of Chucks as soon as she starts walking. She won’t always want to wear matching shoes with her old man. Ha! I think he got me baseball cleats instead, which would be the same thing in my dad's world. :)

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15. Dance with her. Start when she’s a little girl or even when she’s a baby. Don’t wait until her wedding day. Check! He always danced...and funny dances too. Right, Mom, Erin, & Hollie -- need I say Mrs. Doubtfire??!! :)

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16. Take her fishing. She will probably squirm more than the worm on your hook. That’s OK. Yep! I fished lots of times. I don't know if I squirmed though. I think I remember liking it.

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17. Learn to say no. She may pitch a fit today, but someday you’ll both be glad you stuck to your guns. Check! He did not have a problem saying "no"! ha :)

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18. Tell her she’s beautiful. Say it over and over again. Someday an animated movie or “beauty” magazine will try to convince her otherwise. Check! He still tells me that to this day :)

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19. Teach her to change a flat. A tire without air need not be a major panic inducing event in her life. She’ll still call you crying the first time it happens. Check!  Although I've never had to do it so I'm a bit out of practice. :)

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20. Take her camping. Immerse her in the great outdoors. Watch her eyes fill with wonder the first time she sees the beauty of wide open spaces. Leave the iPod at home. Check!! We went camping and we went on LOTS of nature hikes by our home in Lake Elizabeth. I loved those!! :)

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21. Let her hold the wheel. She will always remember when daddy let her drive. Check! My dad is the one who taught me how to drive out at 110th St. West! :)

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22. She’s as smart as any boy. Make sure she knows that. Check!! I never felt inferior to boys or intimidated by them. My dad (and mom) raised smart, strong, independent women who know they can hang with any boy...question is can the boys hang with us?! ha! 

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23. When she learns to give kisses, she will want to plant them all over your face. Encourage this practice. Check!!

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24. Knowing how to eat sunflower seeds correctly will not help her get into a good college. Teach her anyway. Check!! My dad was a sports fanatic, how could we not have learned to eat sunflower seeds correctly!! ha! When I was in HS my friend Shannon and I did stats for the boys JV Baseball team and we would have sunflower seed spitting wars with the guys...and we could totally hold our own! :)

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25. Letting her ride on your shoulders is pure magic. Do it now while you have a strong back and she’s still tiny. Check!! My dad was our human jungle gym!! :)

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26. It is in her nature to make music. It’s up to you to introduce her to the joy of socks on a wooden floor. Check!!

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27. If there’s a splash park near your home, take her there often. She will be drawn to the water like a duck to a puddle. Check! I don't think there was a splash park by our home, but he did take us to them frequently....I have more memories of him taking us to the city pool in Porterville though. Such fun times!! :)

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28. She will eagerly await your return home from work in the evenings. Don’t be late. Check!! I don't think he ever stayed later than he had to.

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29. If her mom enrolls her in swim lessons, make sure you get in the pool too. Don’t be intimidated if there are no other dads there. It’s their loss. Hmm...I don't remember. But he did take us in the ocean all the time and teach us how to body surf the waves!

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30. Never miss her birthday. In ten years she won’t remember the present you gave her. She will remember if you weren’t there. Check!! See # 13.

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31. Teach her to roller skate. Watch her confidence soar. Check! We did rollerblading and ice skating too :)

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32. Let her roll around in the grass. It’s good for her soul. It’s not bad for yours either. Oh my gosh yes! I think we lived at the park that's how much he would take us and we always rolled in the grass...mainly down grassy hills. :)

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33. Take her swimsuit shopping. Don’t be afraid to veto some of her choices, but resist the urge to buy her full-body beach pajamas. Ha! I don't remember swimsuit shopping with dad - I think that was a mom thing :)

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34. Somewhere between the time she turns three and her sixth birthday, the odds are good that she will ask you to marry her. Let her down gently.  Check! I do remember telling my dad I wanted to marry him!! :)

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35. She’ll probably want to crawl in bed with you after a nightmare. This is a good thing. Check!! My parents definitely let us climb into bed with them and I loved it!! I can't wait for Jack to be old enough to climb into bed with us...sure it may be crowded or exhausting, but it's the memories that are being created that are most important!! :)

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36. Few things in life are more comforting to a crying little girl than her father’s hand. Never forget this. Check! Check! Check! My dad is a wonderful comforter to :)

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37. Introduce her to the swings at your local park. She’ll squeal for you to push her higher and faster. Her definition of “higher and faster” is probably not the same as yours. Keep that in mind. Oh yes!! We would have contests to see who could jump out of the swing at the highest point and land the farthest out! So fun!! :)

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38. When she’s a bit older, your definition of higher and faster will be a lot closer to hers. When that day comes, go ahead… give it all you’ve got. YES! :)

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39. Holding her upside down by the legs while she giggles and screams uncontrollably is great for your biceps. WARNING: She has no concept of muscle fatigue. Check! I believed I mentioned earlier that he was our human jungle gym :)

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40. She might ask you to buy her a pony on her birthday. Unless you live on a farm, do not buy her a pony on her birthday. It’s OK to rent one though. Check! We lived on a ranch that had a horse and he would take us to look at it and when the owners were there we got to ride it :)

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41. Take it easy on the presents for her birthday and Christmas. Instead, give her the gift of experiences you can share together. Check! We have lots of traditions for birthdays/Christmas and I remember those way better than any present :)

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42. Let her know she can always come home. No matter what. Check! My parents' home will always be home to me...no matter how old I am :)

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43. Remember, just like a butterfly, she too will spread her wings and fly some day. Enjoy her caterpillar years. Check!

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44. Write her a handwritten letter every year on her birthday. Give them to her when she goes off to college, becomes a mother herself, or when you think she needs them most. Check, in a way. He always writes long, loving letters in the birthday cards he gives us. :)

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45. Learn to trust her. Gradually give her more freedom as she gets older. She will rise to the expectations you set for her. Check! :)

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46. When in doubt, trust your heart. She already does. Check! To this day if I need to make a big decision or I am not sure what to do in a situation I always call my dad for advice. He is the best at giving advice!! :)

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47. When your teenage daughter is upset, learning when to engage and when to back off will add years to YOUR life. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Check! I think he did a good job with this, because let's face it - teenage girls are not the most pleasant people to be around at times. :)

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48. Ice cream covers over a multitude of sins. Know her favorite flavor. Check! Rocky Road - same as my Dad's!! :)

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49. The day is coming soon when she will start to like boys. There’s nothing you can do to be ready for it. The sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be. Check! He did give us lots of advice talks about boys ;)

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50. Today she’s walking down the driveway to get on the school bus. Tomorrow she’s going off to college. Don’t blink.  Check - I don't think he blinked :)

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